Mujhay koi "naa" kaise kar sakta hai? Naa ka sawal paida hi nahee hota.
"How can someone say no to me? There is no chance of being rejected."
As any Pakistani female would enjoy, I also love watching a handful of Pakistani dramas. Recently, a new production by HUM TV caught my eye. The protagonist Saba meets this absolute dream-boy Ammar, so that they can get married in the typical arranged marriage set up that is popular in our country. Ammar is a classic narcissist, possibly even a sociopath. Nothing can justify this behavior. This behavior is toxic and it has the power to ruin the person associated with them. Being self-obsessed is not narcissism, it is the lack of accountability for your actions and their consequences.
Narcissism, a term you should never MISUSE.
Have you ever met someone who was charming, knew all the right words to lure you in and then destroyed everything? Well you might have experienced a narcissist of the highest order. No, it's not uncommon at all. Majority people are narcissists.
Initially the narcissist comes off as a charmer, an absolute sweet-heart and they seem like the most genuine person you've ever met. Some people have more charm than others and pronounced charm is a huge red flag when it comes to identifying a narcissist. They do not feel the same emotions, remorse and guilt as normal neurologically healthy people do. Another common extreme that narcissism leads to is sociopathy. Sociopaths become conscienceless due to childhood trauma and genetics, they realize fairly early on that they don't feel things as others do. The difference between a normal person with a traumatizing childhood and a sociopath is that a sociopath will use that trauma to benefit them. This is where the power of sympathy comes in.
Sociopaths know they are different. They will cloak themselves in a sense of humility, be it by becoming religious or by shape-shifting their personality to get what they want. They learn how to act efficiently to pass in society which is why we are shocked when they show their true, awful colors. They view us as a lower, less intelligent neurotypical species and learn how to charm us by using the "mirror" effect. They make themselves relatable just to get what they want. They learn how our whereabouts work, what norms we believe in and what makes us happy... simply to get in to our zone and let them use and abuse it all.
They also produce higher levels of testosterone or hormones which make them sexually more attractive. But one major downside to this medically proven reason is that sociopaths come off as hyper-sexual, which doesn't help with fidelity. Naturally, sociopaths don't feel any guilt or remorse, so cheating on us would really make no difference to them.
Narcissistic abuse and therapy go line-in-line. Most people end up marrying or dating a narcissist and later want to improve their well being and move on from that phase. If you have also managed to encounter a narcissist, first of all, I am very sorry that the human race has come down to such a awful state and secondly, you are not alone; help and healing is possible and very easily available now.
The thing about living with a narcissist is that leaving them is one of the most difficult things to do. Narcissistic abuse is real and has the power to completely shatter someone. One of the biggest outcomes of dealing with narcissistic abuse is that we tend to replay those abuse episodes in our head where we were manipulated ever so easily. In the law of attraction, it is clear that negativity should be understood completely but after that it should be removed from your thoughts so that we can start anchoring into more positive ways of thinking.
The strategy that people have when it comes to break-ups is unrealistic. The "get up and get on with it" practice is not helping anyone. We all know that this is a phase we will get over, but having knowledge is not the solution. When you break off with a narcissist, this is a spiritual connection that you can simply not push through or wake up differently after. The power a narcissist has over you is immense, whether you admit it or not. The kind of pain that one suffers by loving a narcissist cannot be 100% healed, that is how powerful a narcissist is.
Unfortunately, the truth is bitter and our experiences do demotivate us from being happy again. But being knowledgeable helps us recognize such behaviors so that we do not nose-dive into them. Consider seeking help for narcissistic abuse instead of feeling bad for loving someone who could hurt like that. The universe saves us from endless pain, it is our choice to see this escape as a blessing.
