More than 4 million people suffer from depression. Although, many myths remain... what may seem as a loss of appetite, being distracted more often, sleeping troubles, low self worth and exhaustion.. this is depression. Depression is not "all in your head"... it's a global disability.
I am not talking about the extreme, most paralyzing, regions of despair – where medical help is vital. As indicated by Thoreau’s phrase – mired in moods of ‘quiet desperation’: we feel exhausted, close to tears, beyond the sympathetic understanding of others, easily irritated and daunted by the simplest tasks. Triggers. These are simply triggers. But how is something like this triggering us?
The fear of rejection, anxiousness in our entire being, ending up alone, having no authenticity... these are just fears. Certain actions around us trigger these fears and insecurities. The once brave and ambitious child is now a failure, your peers are beyond you and this sadness and hopelessness consuming you almost feels wrong. Society gives us endless opportunities to be happy like marriage, better jobs, social media, plastic surgeons and what not, and yet it feels like it is impossible for us to be happy. Nothing we do or engage in can bring us out of the deep grief we have consumed ourselves in.
Grief: The normal process of reacting to a loss. The loss may be physical (such as a death), social (such as divorce), or occupational (such as a job). Emotional reactions of grief can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and despair.
Grief is the most normal human behavior you can exhibit. If you do not feel any sense of grief, you are either senile or dead. Simply as a virtue of being alive we will experience grief at every given day. Every given day something will make our stomach drop, our eyes water or bring us trouble... be it unfair criticism at work, overlooked by a parent or bullied by someone at school. We will be disgusted by our own stupidity and gullibility, our inner cowardice and how we constantly feel the need to change ourselves to feel GOOD. We will quit college to get into a shitty job, marry the wrong person, hurt the right person and we will witness the ones we love suffer and die while we are very much alive; the reasons for feeling low or demoralized touch everyone.
This feeling of sadness is universal, normalized and a part of our adulthood... which is why we are so fascinated by the happiness and innocence of children, as they do not know the concept of suffering. Every single day, you will witness many reasons to be in despair, lose hope in humanity... just read today's headlines for example: prices are high, diseases are incurable and people are dying from terrorist attacks... if this doesn't worry you too much, just believe that your brain is doing an excellent job keeping you in denial. But of course, one fine day that tiny violin it plays for you, will break, and so will you. That's what we say ever so often... "he broke me apart" "this news tore me apart" all this isn't you being dramatic, it is very real. Very human. Very normal. To experience this is to experience your ongoing breathing. Hand-in-hand.
So what triggers this sadness exactly? A need for love and sympathy (I'll do a separate article on why having a need for sympathy isn't healthy). Every single person on this planet... be it the person having all the riches in the world, the one always traveling, the one in a happy marriage or the one who is most beautiful... if we could only see into their minds, we would know that we are indeed not alone. As alone as we feel. It's a strange concept that we live so close to one another, social media exists and yet nobody wants to openly explain how they feel. Repeat after me: DEFENSE MECHANISM
Nobody is mean or unapproachable, nobody is a slob. Everyone is simply sad, and if we see an acquaintance being sad, we feel compassion and empathy. If you help others in your day-to-day life, please spare a little bit of compassion and love for yourself. Self care, justifying your feelings in the form of self expression is just a small step to help yourself be. Just be.
We cannot escape our life and the monstrosities of it too, that's the bitter reality. There are so many people who rely on us, even if that presence doesn't feel real right now. When you worry about the future, remember that life is simply something based on chance. The chance that you can experience a somewhat happier future is existent and maybe your mental flexibility after acquiring so much pain... will strengthen you and make you face your fears, or at least, for a while.
Being sad is simply being human. You are as normal as you can be. Life is merely going on in it's own special... dark way; exactly how it was meant to.
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